The Musician's Room: Joe Walsh's Pirate Joke

Told April 4, 1998, at "An Evening with Joe Walsh", when he was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

A pirate goes into unemployment to apply for benefits. The employment counselor asks him, "Why do you believe that you qualify for unemployment?"

"I can't be a pirate with a wooden leg, a hook for a hand and only one eye!"

"How did you lose you leg?"

"I was in a row boat, going to pillage when a big wave tipped us over. Before I could get back to the pirate ship a shark bit off my leg. They gave me this wooden one at the hospital."

"Oh my, so what happened to your hand?"

"We were in Florida, going to a deserted island in a swamp to bury treasure. I fell asleep, and when my arm relaxed, my hand went into the water and a gator bit it off. In order to escape the gator and save me from bleeding to death, we threw the treasure overboard. They gave me this hook at the hospital"

"Ah, huh. What happened to your eye?"

"I was back to work on the boat. As a bird flew over it cried out and I looked up at it. Well, the bird went potty right in my eye and that's how I lost it."

"I don't understand, how can you lose an eye from having bird crap in it?"

"First day with the hook."